When Your Parents Don’t Want You To Go: How to Help Your Parents Adjust to You Leaving for College

You’ve been counting down the days since you’ve received your acceptance letter. You’ve been spending every paycheck buying flip-flops and a robe for the shower, new sheets for your bedroom, an office light for your desk, and notebooks for your classes. You’ve had your eye on a new laptop computer. Your GPS already has “Home” programmed to be your college address. You spend your evenings on Skype getting to know your roommate, and the moments before you fall asleep imagining yourself on campus, going to class and meeting friends. It’s going to be so great! If only your parents could see that.

While many parents are happy to see their children take the next step in their education, and may even take a little pleasure in their children moving out of the house, there are some parents who absolutely dread the idea. This can cause all sorts of stress and emotions for those leaving for college. The following is a list of tips for those who have parents who are less-than-thrilled about their children leaving home.

Try Not to Feel Bad

As the day you leave gets closer, and your parents get more upset, it’s only natural for you to start feeling bad about it. Obviously, you want them to be happy for you, not sad that you’re leaving. Remember that leaving home is a normal step everyone must take into adulthood. You haven’t done anything wrong.

Stick To Your Guns

 Don’t let your parents talk you into sticking around one more year or going to a college closer to home. If you give in now to make them happy, there’s a chance you’ll regret that decision and resent them later, making matters worse. This is your life. If going to college away from home is what’s best for you, that’s what you need to do.

Give Them Time

Having your children move out is a major adjustment for parents. They’ve spent the last eighteen years getting used to having you around. They’ve protected you your whole life, and now they can’t. In addition, sometimes children moving out is when parents begin to consider themselves “old.” Your parents are going through a lot psychologically. They may react poorly to you leaving when you receive your acceptance letter, but warm up to the idea as time goes on.

Paint Them A Detailed Picture

Parents want to know where their kids are. This doesn’t change after you’ve left for college. Help them adjust by giving them a copy of your schedule so they’ll know when you’re in class. Show them pictures of the campus. Show them a picture of your roommate. Tell them about the college and the surrounding community. If possible, bring them to the college you’ll be attending. The more information your parents have about where you are and what you’ll be doing, the more comfortable they’ll be.

Maintain Communication

Parents often fear that you leaving the house means you won’t talk to them anymore. They want to be kept in the loop. Remember to call them, text them, Facebook them, Skype them, and visit them on a regular basis.

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  1. Sally says:

    What if they won’t even let you speak about moving to even a university that is not within reach?

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